#19 You can't found me // Annoying(c)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008 @ Tuesday, October 14, 2008

today i feel like shit , crap .

i have never felt like this . and i wonder why am i thinking so much . suddenly i felt akward after i went home today . i've never behave like this before . but before telling you whats been on my mind , i'll tell ya what had happened during the morning (morning time was okay (: ) .

woke up late . luckily mum woke me up . quickly bathed , changed , went down to meet uncle . reached school , waited for ana to came . then the rest came . i was indeed tired . then had flag raising . after flag raising , all the sec 3's went up to the ISH hall . they talked about STI/HIV . some pictures were very gore , discusting . after that shitty talk , went to class and guess what ? i passed my cpa but i fail my maths .

after school , went to lot one with my greatest friends . headed to long john to eat . walked around then send ekyn home at the mrt station . walked around loddy , sat in library for a while . he called . so we talked . and somehow , i wasnt pleased . he got me mad . and then he said i was just fooling around , why angry ? then somehow he was pissed , he said " if you wanna start a fight , lets fight ." i was so damn pissed when i heard that . why would i wanna start a fight with him ? no life is it wanna fight with someone i treasure ? end up we cool down and he said he wanted to sleep . he asked for a goodnight bye . so i said goodnight , takecares , sweet dreams , have a great sleep . and he replied , any more ? he wanted me to say i miss you . so i did say , but then he told me to start all over . so i said goodnight , takecares , sweet dreams , have a great sleep , i miss you like alot alot alot . and finally he was glad , we said bye and put down the phone .

then deela , harun and me wanted to go home . so we said goodbye and went our seperate ways . it was raining cats and dogs , and i had no more hands to hold the umbrella , i thought mum wasnt home yet , so i called her , thought of going home with her , but she was at home already . i hung up , i was pissed , so i just walked home , soaking wet .

got home at 5pm , opened the door , threw the box down , threw my bag at the study room , took my towel and went in the toilet . i didnt came out until it was 6pm . while i was inside , i was thinking about life . how am i going to survive with parents quarrelling ? whats with him ? will i able to solve every single one of my problems and put it to ease ? my heart was just so down , i got myself thinking about suicidal . but as i think back , thats stupid . i wont do anything to hurt myself .

so i prayed to god . make things better , not worse . make him have a good life . make dad realise what's hes doing is wrong . help mum to stay strong , no matter what happens . its 10.47 pm , and i better go to sleep now . i want to have a great sleep and i hope girl guides wont be as tiring tomorrow .

goodnight readers .

Labels: fuck up with life .

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